


squirrel kisses

by untakenbeepun



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: (drew's his handsome prince) - Freeform, Crack, Other, Pure Crack, harrison almost kisses a squirrel - Freeform, he's trying to find his handsome prince leave him be - Freeform, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untakenbeepun/pseuds/untakenbeepun
Summary: "13% of Sidlesmith students are trying to kiss the squirrel in case it turns into a hot nobleman."- Very true and accurate fact from the Kaleidotrope twitter.





	squirrel kisses

“Here, boy.” Harrison whistled once, threw a breadcrumb towards the squirrel on the bench, and knelt to the floor. “_Here, boy.” _

The squirrel looked back at him with those small beady eyes, warily eyeing Harrison up and down.

“Here, boy.” The squirrel edged closer. “_That’s a good squirrel.” _

The rumour that the campus squirrels were not so much rodents as they were handsome princes had spread around campus faster than that American equivalent to what a miserable sniffling Drew had defined as Fresher’s Flu. Only the bravest – or the most desperate – Sidlesmith students were testing out the theory, and Harrison was nothing if not incredibly brave, and very, very desperate.

“Come on, little squirrel,” he said, his voice low. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The squirrel inched a little bit closer, fluffy tail gliding against the bench.

“Give me a sign,” Harrison whispered, because he wasn’t a total idiot. He wasn’t about to lock lips with a rodent without some evidence of princely origin. “If you’re secretly a handsome prince that can only be rescued by true love’s kiss, just _give me a sign_.”

The squirrel stared right back at him, apprehensively taking one of the breadcrumbs Harrison had offered.

“Blink twice if you’re a very sexy royal that wants to sweep me off my feet.”

The squirrel blinked. Harrison waited, holding his breath. The squirrel blinked a second time.

Harrison gasped.

“Wait, this isn’t a trick, is it?” Harrison said, because he really wasn’t a total idiot. The Sidlesmith squirrels were tricky things. “If I kiss you, my one true love will appear?”

The squirrel blinked twice again. 

Harrison took in a breath. What did he have to lose, really? Drew didn’t want to date him, that much was obvious after the whole _Merry Widow _debacle. It wasn’t like he had any other trope possibilities on the horizon. And if it all went wrong, well, no one was around to see what was probably about to be the most shameful moment in his life.

So Harrison, against all judgment, closed his eyes, and leaned in towards the squirrel.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Harrison yelped, leaping to his feet.

Drew was standing in front of him, bag slung over his shoulder, incredulous expression on his face. The squirrel had disappeared, nowhere to be found.

“I was—” Harrison looked around desperately, but there was no reasonable explanation for why he’d been kneeling in front of a bench, eyes closed, waiting to get a kiss from a squirrel— “Looking for Cal!”

“What?”

“That’s right! That’s exactly what I was doing!”

Drew raised an eyebrow. “You were looking for Cal under a bench?”

“Yes! Tricky person that Cal! Could be hiding anywhere! Watching all of us! Taking notes! Could be anything! Anyone!” Harrison gabbled.

Drew coughed. “Yeah. Anyone.”

“Well,” Harrison said, grabbing his bag from behind the bench. “I’m sure you’ve got loads to do. Lots of writing and stuff. Lots of writing in your moleskine and watching operettas. Don’t want to bother you. Gotta go. Bye!”

Harrison scarpered quick as a flash to his dorm room, slamming the door behind him and pressing his face against the door. He sank to the floor, letting out a long groan.

Just another day at Sidlesmith.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [bee-elzebub](https://bee-ezlebub.tumblr.com/) and on twitter at [@untakenbeepun](https://twitter.com/untakenbeepun)


End file.
